I’m the Worst Whole30-er Ever.

Remember in 8 Mile when Eminem busts out a rap insulting himself first, so his rap battle opponent was left speechless? That’s what my blog title just did.

My Whole30 journey ended yesterday after 20 days. But that’s not even what makes me the worst Whole30-er ever.

On Days 1 and 14, I had ribs and chicken from two different BBQ places and told myself there’s no way there is any sort of sugar in the rubs and seasoning blends.

On Day 4, I made banana-egg pancakes.

Day 7, I made wings with Worcestershire sauce, which has molasses.

On Days 7-9, I discovered Sunbutter and shoveled an uncomfortable amount of spoonfuls into my mouth before realizing the version i bought had evaporated cane juice.

I’m sure there were other slip-ups in there but those are the ones that come to mind. But, what I feel like is most important is that I stuck it out. Even when I hit Days 10 and 11 and pouted and whined and really almost threw in the towel.

So, why quit on Day 20? I have a good reason and a lame reason.

Lame reason: Work conference.

Good reason: Impatience.

Allow me to explain my “good” reason.

I wanted to end my Whole30 so I could start living a realistic healthier, cleaner life. The Whole30 made me reclusive – someone who stays in all weekend, Googles Whole30 compliant meals during downtime at work, and altogether obsesses over each and every bite of food. I’m sorry, but that’s not realistic or sustainable (for me). I have always shied away from diets, paleo challenges, weekly food prep and the like because they aren’t all that realistic for me. I’m going to grab drinks after work, spend time with friends on weekends, and not cook every bite of food that I eat. So, I was anxious to leave the structure of the Whole30 and take all the tasty recipes and healthy snack ideas I’d learned and used and apply it to “real life.” In my mind, that’s what will lead to sustained changes. Remember, the overarching goal of Whole30 is to help individuals adopt better eating habits and appreciate good, whole, unprocessed foods on a daily basis.

All of this talk of the restrictions of the Whole30 begs the question of if the Whole30 actually worked for me. I didn’t step on a scale for the 20 days, and I did my best to not let non-Whole30 foods enter my body. The result …


So there’s that. And, according to my body weight and body fat scale, (I know it may not be that accurate blah blah blah …) I’m down 5 pounds and a little over 1% of body fat. I sleep more soundly and have more energy. Without my nightly glass(es) of wine, I found myself with a cleaner apartment, and lunches packed the night before (not as I rush out the door).

So what did Day 21 Day 1 post-Whole 30 look like? There was processed deliciousness, dairy, grains and wine. Obvi. But I didn’t devour an entire box of Thin Mints (my subconscious left them at work), and I didn’t rush to Chuy’s for queso-topped enchiladas.

My love of bad food won’t disappear overnight but my strength to make better choices grows every day. And I have my, albeit brief, Whole30 journey to thank for that.

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